Beauty & The Blog?

Right, so we have now established the basics. Now time to clear up some gossip and to bring anyone who is a bit lost, including me @ times, right up to date!

I am writing a book. I am also now writing a blog. “Too many fingers in too many pies” I hear you cry. “He needs to concentrate on one project. FOCUS”! I hear what you have to say…Well. Seeing as I am an academic (apparently, though not proven as such.) A keen reader.  An avid lexicographer and aspiring writer I shall put this in my best “I kissed the Blarney Stone twice” (if you don’t know Google it) most eloquent terms….

”BOLLOCKS to you all!”

Here it is. Put plainly;

I started writing a book, a HUGE undertaking in anyone’s estimates, at what was possibly the lowest ebb of my life. Not the greatest start.

I was facing some major issues and had the concentration of a small guinea pig. This was partly of course due to the medication I was prescribed all kicking in. I managed not to dribble or piss myself mostly but it was heavy for a while. Sitting down at my P.C in my bedroom staring at the wall for weeks on end was about as tempting as a home circumcision. It didn’t go well. I stalled. For 6 weeks.

Then…..24,000 words that were meaningful, heartfelt and basically accurate in grammar and spelling fell out of my soul. In 10 days. I was hooked. I stuck at it. Progress was good but slowly dwindled. I literally lost the plot. It’s like swimming the Atlantic. You leave from Fistral beach…2 miles out you turn around? You can still see Newquay harbour. 5 miles out you might see land. It’s when you’re 104 miles out, waves crashing, that you sink…….

That’s what I did. Writing wise I sank. I dried up. Word wise.  Banging my head against a wall. A Wall of books. Written Books. Written, Published books. Bastards.

I tried again to start. I couldn’t. I also got slowly sick of the polite enquiry “How’s your book going?” as the topic was now well known (I have a big mouth and do get somewhat excited at times of progress. I squeal like a pig), but the reply “FUCK OFF! Ever tried writing one cum dumpster?” is never socially acceptable unless one is in the presence of ones closest circle. Or in Liverpool.

After weeks of staring at a screen, I finally realised, that trying to write a heartfelt, deep and emotionally ravaging book for hours on end, alone in a room, slightly emotionally and mentally imbalanced is just plain impossible. Like Yin needs Yang. Like dark needs light, I needed some fun writing to do… to balance the scales.

So this is my Linguistic Yang. A retreat.  A sanctuary. A place where I can escape, vent, develop my skills (?) and hopefully entertain and have some fun too.

At present the book is back moving. I spent time planning and organising the layout and format. All now in a typically me style PowerPoint presentation format, clearly annotated and ordered. Complete with mission statement, aims, plot line. Headings, sub headings the whole nine yards.   Anyway work is coming along nicely and at a decent rate and posts will be frequent about progress...

There we are all clear and up to date. I’m off now but the bleeping HTC next to me has inspired a new blog. So I’m off.

Thanks for reading. (Lisa & Shaun-May as well name you both personally)

TheArtfulBlogger