Excuse Me Sir. Your Phone Is having A sexual Update

Now, I am only too aware that I am a little behind with the times, technology wise.  I have a PC and I obviously used one to great effect in my former career, teaching, frequently and with success.

I bought a netbook recently and made the transition from Windows XL to Windows 7 like a seasoned professional. I was rather pleased. Update Installed to brain.  

Ideal.

My mobile phone however was a different story, the subject strikes anger into the hearts of many that know, or rather; try to contact me via my mobile.

My mobile was old, seriously old. In plain terms I had the same phone as my Dad. So not cool! This was for 2 reasons mainly.

1.       I had a few posh phones. They all broke. Old Nokia 1745 AD edition still worked. It had been run over, dropped in the sea while out boating and survived being slung about by me. It had succeeded where all else had failed. But had lost its sparkle. It was dull as hell.

2.       I rarely answer the phone. I hate them. If I want to talk to a person I address them face on. I just think it’s nicer.

So that’s how it’s been.

 Until Sunday, when I just thought sod it. Drove to Truro and purchased for my Bad self a HTC ChaCha.  I had joined the Android powered world.

 And I quickly installed the much talked about (among the gays) app called “Grindr”

For those readers of a more…”Herbal” based lifestyle, then no, I don’t mean…

I mean

The app that turns my mobile phone into a GPS based gay man magnet.  Any gay men that have the app and are on line show up with a distance ranging from miles to feet away…..

Now, it’s no news what this app is for.  It’s not to discuss gay rights or share great recipes.

Having said that. I have been SHOCKED! (Which is no easy task I can assure you)  

I was on there for 2 seconds….when

”pop”

Message….

“Hi”

Oh ok. Not so bad I thought. Oh cynical ArtfulBlogger…

Wait, hang on…

“Pop”

“Horny. Fuk me” (not my spelling)

Crikey. Forward like.

 After much thought I tendered a pathetic

“Hahaha” as a reply and ignored him.

I went into the Orange store on Sunday for a new phone and left with a blow-job? My phone had had a sexual update. Beat that O2 treats!

I have explored “Grindr” fairly well now (research of course!) and I must say found a variety of folk on there, some to avoid, as always in life.

Generally I have drawn this simple conclusion;

“Grindr” is in essence, the mobile based virtual gay bar, less the handbag pop music.

You get the odd fit dude. But he’s usually up his own ass and doesn’t speak,

A few nice couples (all the good ones huh?),

A load of randy Queens after a good seeing too,

And finally but most annoying are always the randoms and the nutters in the corner

or in my face!

There is of course nothing controversial about any of this….it’s all a bit yesterday really.

It’s just been a long time since my phone received an update

TheArtfulBlogger