Tuesday 23 August 2011

A Big Fat Thank You!


After the fantastic response that the last post I put on here had, the first chapter of the ominous book I’m Writing (Killing Christopher http://tianbiscuits.blogspot.com/2011/08/killing-christopher.html), It has been hard to face the task of coming up with something that would aptly and snugly glide right in as the next post after with the ease and style of Lorraine Kelly delivering a particularly tedious link on morning T.V…


Not a hint of growler in sight for the ever giggling presenter


After much thought, I have decided that it is an almost impossible task. But here goes.

First, my deep gratitude for the flood of comments and the support you have shown and for the messages and mails that you have sent. They have really helped to breathe new life into a severely flagging mission. I feel renewed by the warmth shown and driven by the occasional critique that was offered up, which all was taken in the best way.

All in all, I am, a week after the event, pleased that I made the decision to post the document. It has helped and given the project a much needed nudge.

Secondly I wanted to apologise for the distinct lack of attention I have paid, or would seem to have paid, to this blog.  It has been almost a week since I updated it, a cardinal rule in the world of blogging. My only defence is that I wanted the chapter to remain first on the page for maximum exposure.

Third, as I said before I feel renewed in my efforts with the book and have been working on it with new passion for the last week.  I will keep you updated on its progress but for now I will move the issue to the side.  Please continue to spread the link as far and wide as you can. It was really helpful.  And thank you again

For now my attentions turn to rather more frivolous occasions.



Myself. My best mate and the ever wondrous sister are heading to Manchester Pride’s Big Weekend http://www.manchesterpride.com/ for 4 days of hedonism and carnage all with silly T-shirts, lashings of alcohol and with a Parade to boot. What fun!!

We have a 2 bed apartment booked for the 4 days with Wi-Fi available so I will aim to blog a little while I’m there.

TheArtfulBlogger

Wednesday 17 August 2011

Killing Christopher


After much deliberation & careful thought I have decided, in the true spirit of openness and sharing, to publish the first chapter of the book that I am currently working on.

I thought that it would achieve 2 main aims in this context.

1.       To serve as a piece of extended background information for this blog, detailing how and why I am in the position I am in and why I hope to achieve some of the things I do.

2.       I hope that it may gain me some valuable feedback. This is my first writing project and the whole process as well as the resulting prose have morphed and changed along the way. Feedback and critique can only help further this.

I also need to get over the fear of sharing. Letting go of my words….  So here goes.

The work is pretty much intact as I typed it first draft. There will be alterations and amendments but this will give you an idea of where I am starting from.

I hope to look back on this moment in years to come with a cigar, a brandy and a deep -bellied laugh at how benign it all is after a long and satisfying career in the art of the written word.

Feel free to express your thoughts, ideas and comments.


The document is stored on Google Docs

TheArtfulBlogger

Rinse & Repeat



Right. My blogging cherry has now well and truly been popped.

I have several posts behind me and, although I would be the first to admit that they range in quality of both content and delivery,  the first ominous feelings of “Cyber Stage Fright” are now behind me. 
 I may only be a chorus girl struggling her way through the routine at the back and not yet the front stage prima ballerina of the web but the worst is over…

Now, before I succumb to the desire to produce endless posts that are aimed at gaining a following or shamefully written to please, I need to stop. Take 5 and focus.

The original aim of this blog was, to chart my attempts and first tentative steps into a new career and a complete lifestyle overhaul.

To help plan and plot my path as much as document it.

But this has all started to seem terribly self-indulgent and conceited. From what I have read in the blog community to write purely about yourself reeks of a level of vanity that is more befitting a “Geordie shore “ “Star” than a human being who aims at being taken seriously and saying something worth reading.

Then again, I need to re-think who I am writing for.  I don’t was to seem ungrateful for anyone who reads or comments  ( because I’m really not) and it is obviously more satisfying to feel “read”  than alone in the blogosphere, but it is for myself as much as for anyone else? To develop my writing skills and to build and online “Filing Cabinet” of my ideas, thoughts, issues & memories as well as to serve as a journal, all of which I can then utilize to help achieve the end goal, The Book, to give its prose depth and a clarity of purpose ,whilst  de-cluttering  my mind so I can focus on the task at hand.

Talking of focus, the newly found joys of blogging have rather drawn me away from my other endeavour, the painting.

The Exhibition that I have been invited to join is rapidly approaching and with the festivities of Manchester Pride taking up almost a week (including recovery time), time is running out to meet the self declared  “collection” number of 5 pieces…

So I am away to consider my next move blog wise, to muse on what I really want to say & spend some time on the canvas that has been a sketch for weeks, that will become “The Exchange”, the final for my Falmouth collection.

Some time alone with the paints and some good music may clear my head and my nagging blog doubts.

TheArtfulBlogger

Sunday 14 August 2011

Reasons To Be Cheerful?

In lieu of the Dark Days that have passed of late; Civil & Social upset in our country, the hideous actions of a madman Anders Behring Breivik in Norway & the tragic passing of the greatly talented Amy Winehouse

I thought it would be nice to lift the mood slightly…

There may be chaos in parts of our nation and our world as a whole but I believe that we have the power to pull together and rise like a phoenix from the ashes!

So all in the best possible taste are a list of reasons to keep your chin up tired Britain!

 Reason No 1: Royal Brides
Ok, ok so the nuptials of Prince William to The New Duchess were 3 months ago, but who can get enough of The Former Miss Middleton. Her Megawatt smile and impeccable, flawless turn-out have made her a hit around the world. A valuable asset in these times!


Royal Wedding Day April 2011


The Duchess In America, Dazzling in McQueen


Holding her own in L.A, Wearing Jenny Packham

We were of course treated to a 2nd Royal wedding this year. Princess Anne, The Princess Royal's daughter & the Queen’s eldest grandchild married England rugby player Mike Tindall in a ceremony that was as far from that of William & Kate in miles as it was in Pomp & Protocol.


The small private affair at Canongate Kirk was as touching as the first wedding was grand but was very befitting of Zara, who is of the “New Generation” of Royals.  Popular and in touch with people.
Both these royal brides and their husbands give us hope for the future of “Brand Britain”

Reason No 2: The Queens Diamond Jubilee

Her Majesty the Queen



Come on. Deny me that HRH Queen Elizabeth is an EXTRAORDINARY person. Few on this planet have lived with the duty, the state secrets, the scrutiny, the tragedy and the greatest period of social change this country has ever seen. All without as much as ruffling her hair.

The Diamond Jubilee will be the 2nd that the country, nay, the world has ever seen. Queen Victoria is the only other holder of the Medal that will be awarded to Her Majesty on the events dawning.

We proved for William & Kate that we still have a love for the Royal and in this age where reality is so harsh and grim and our politicians are proving s unjust and corrupt. Could the new era of royals provide us with a new symbol of hope?


Reason 3: The Olympics

Face it, it’s happening. Whatever the cost of Building (and RE-building what has been damaged). Whatever your thoughts, the Olympics are coming to our shores, in less than a year! Come on Team GB, let’s not Balls it up!

If the Olympics really aren’t your thing, then maybe glad news that “The 5 J’s”, Jennifer Saunders, Joanna Lumley, Julia Sawalha, Jane Horrocks & June Whitfield, have agreed 3 new “Ab Fab” specials. 1 to coincide with Christmas. 2 for the Olypmics.



Who could want more?  A Smorgasbord of Mood Elevating National Events to lift even the darkest of hearts?

So screw the endless cuts & the harshness of reality. Let’s do what the Brit’s do best.
Stiff upper lip. 
Heads high and March on…..

looking towards the royal family in a new reign of symbolism?
The one last glimmer of light in a rapidly dulling global torch

And at only 66p per year per person. The Royals are INFINITELY cheaper than our M.P’s & a much sounder investment. The currency of Kings  & Queens never fluctuates despite the global market… and it’s the one thing WE STILL DO BEST!!

God Save The Queen

TheArtfulBlogger






The Beast Within


As the dust finally settles on a week that has seen our Once Glorious Island humiliated & horrified, leaving our Government and its many Ministers poring over new policies & protocols that will aim to protect us from future “Self-harm” and disruption, we should not forget that the same Policy Makers & principal decision makers in this country have proved themselves time & time again to be as crooked, if not more so, than the swarm of rioters and looters that swept through our cities like a plague of locusts.

If we look at the actions of the rioters and the basic choice that they made,

The Choice to let “Greed” & “Desire” take the place of “Right” & “Wrong”

Then their actions are, in PRINCIPLE, no different too;

·         The M.P’s Expenses Uproar last year (had we all forgotten?) Ministers claiming for Gardening services. £16,000 for Curtains, Rent Holiday homes, I could go on…
·         Our Banking Bosses who plunged the country into financial chaos whilst pocketing HUGE bonuses for themselves, only to be bailed out by US, the taxpayer
·         The phone hacking scandal currently in question with regards to the press
·         The headlines & propaganda produced by the press and the tabloid coverage of the above subjects that all fuels anger at all levels of the social scale
·         The deep rooted corruption & bribery within the Police Force

When you add these to the latest scandal related to expenses, to hit our headlines, involving more than 140,000 public sector workers who, using government-issue, state funded credit cards, are running up an annual bill in excess of £1 BILLION on their Expenses, the complete picture is not a happy one. 
That same amount would have paid 50,000 nurses’ annual salary or would go towards preventing the proposed cuts to the Police Force at a time when the public mood is one of growing fear.
For a more detailed look at this, click the links below;




All smiles for Paul Leinster CBE, Chief Executive of the Environment Agency
 as he signs the £31,000 expenses claim he filed last year.
 On top of his £200,000 Salary  http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/10489120


As with the M.P scandal of last year, the list of payments made by the claimants would be laughable if the joke was not literally at our continued and growing expense

Paul Leinster CBE, chief executive of the Environment Agency, clocked up £31,181.59 from June 2008 to 
March 2009 - including more than £17,000 on hotel bills and £734 on a dinner for 13 agency staff.

Local councils also racked up huge claims


At Canterbury City Council alone, 91 corporate card holders spent £156,000 last year, of which £18,571 was on 'hotels and resorts', £1,052 on 'cruise liners' and £1,159 at 'toy shops'

Claims were also made for “entertainment”

Expensive wines for meetings

And one amateur dramatics fan even claimed for set design and sheet music for a production!



These allegations and revelations must surely be taken into account when we reflect upon & draw conclusions on the last week’s events. How can we hope that the most cut off, remote and lost parts of our society can 
reform themselves and heal, when their Moral leaders are so continually and publically exposed as at fault?
And the faults are not mishap,s they are equal to the raids on Dixons.…

Deliberate deception for reasons of greed and personal gain

 David Cameron himself stated in his address to Parliament,
“We will do whatever is necessary to restore law and order on to our streets”

Maybe we could just alter that Mr Cameron?

How about…
“We will ALL do whatever is necessary to restore law and order at ALL levels of our society”

We all have some form of responsibility in this. If we fail, then we will only witness Great Britain, what was once the largest and proudest empire on Earth, deteriorate further into a sad second rate state and our slow disappearance from the World Map

TheArtfulBlogger




Friday 12 August 2011

Catch 22



As the barbaric and ridiculous chaos of the last few days winds down and as England wakes up from the destructive “night before”, nursing the mother of all hangovers,  our society has been plunged into a new age of unease and discord.

 The scenes that shocked & stunned us on the news have altered the nations psyche and how we view our fellow citizens in a way that cannot be undone.

 Sadly those same scenes have also served to humiliate us on the world stage…..

As the hideous realities of England’s “night before” become clearer and the 100’s of arrested & convicted rioters pass through our courts, which are working day and night to deal with the case load, only be sentenced to prison time that cannot be served in our crowded prisons or to rehabilitation that relies on organisations and support links that have seen massive funding cuts in recent months.

Jason white, convicted of theft, due for sentencing in October

What have these individuals really stolen, above the “Posh clobber” and swanky TV’s…(all at a massive cost to us, although most of these puerile minds seem to forget this!)

They have stolen the voice of a nation. The Right to freedom of expression and more importantly the right to protest. The final scraps of a National Identity are literally being razed to the ground before our very eyes.

We need to heal what David Cameron called “The Sick” amongst our society but what about the poison that caused it?

I believe that this is another demonstration of the “blame culture” that we live in today. For every accident or incident, for every grievance or complaint, someone is to blame.

Someone ELSE is to blame.

The rioters blame the Government, the Government blame the police, and the police blame the rioters. Catch 22.

This “New Modern Value” is a cancer that is rotting minds. Everyone feels isolated. Everyone feels they have been unfairly treated. Everyone feels they should be compensated or noticed. If this compensation does not materialise, the will clearly just take it.

To my mind, one word that should have proud place in the Dictionary seems slowly to be being eradicated from our minds.

“RESPONSIBILITY”

The deed of holding up our hands and saying “Yes I take ownership of this act or deed...I am accountable….  I will uphold my values!”

We must accept the fact that a core few members of our society feel so unjustly treated that they are happy to destroy the areas they live in and who have no sense of community. We must all take responsibility in curing the Prime Minister’s “sick”

So, as the clean-up begins and the cost of the destruction is totted up and added to our ever growing national debt

Surely, we are all left with some serious questions to answer?

For now my thoughts are with the families of those and who have lost their lives, the injured and bereft and with the lost souls of our country

TheArtfulBlogger


Tuesday 9 August 2011

Chaos & a Girl Called Carol




International Countdown Legend, general Maths Boffin & The woman who thinks that the above look is acceptable “Red-Carpet” wear for a woman knocking 50, has been putting that famous IQ (which is almost as high as the hemline on that dress), to excellent use over the past 2 years it would seem.


The thinking man’s totty and the face of a million debt settlement agencies, has carried out an in depth study of our education system, focusing specifically on math’s, and has produced a candid list of recommendations.

These include;

· All learners continuing to study maths “in some form” until the age of 18

· For maths lessons at age 14 to be broken down further. To be made more practical and to meet modern needs more

· To include bill payment, mobile phone tariffs, day to day maths.


I have to say a huge bravo to Ms Vorderman. Yes, the report was commissioned by our present Government at a time when they were in opposition and so wasn’t an undertaking that the MILF felt driven to crusade for… she was asked to do it.

This fact does not however, in my eyes, weaken the study.

She was an inspired choice for the role and I my only hope is that the bureaucrat’s that instructed the study’s go-ahead now listen to the findings and take action.

It has long been my belief that the educational system in this country in its present state meets the need of only a few of those that pass through it.

I have always had an interest in education and more importantly “learning”, as a process…

This was only heightened by undertaking my Certificate or Education course at university, on the long and at times harsh road to teaching.




Gratuitous Shot of the day I graduated…

During the course and the research and personal development that it caused, I developed my own ideas, a set of personal teaching principles & theories of education that led to a more fully informed approach to the need for more “Individualized” teaching & learning in our schools and our society.

To break away from the current strategy of “this is what you must learn…” to the more holistic approach of “show me what you want to learn…”
In my own experience in the classroom, this approach served me well, with the students at least. Make the learner feel that they are in control of their own path and they feel much more ownership of that path and therefore more inclined to work at it and develop it. It is THEIRS!

There is, in my opinion, a problem with supply & demand in our schools. If Lord Sugar was involved in our education system at its present productivity it would have been fired long ago.




The National Curriculum supplies one thing. The modern generation of learner’s needs are quite another.

We have to take partial blame for this. The learner that passes through our schools in today’s age is a far cry from the one that passed through it even 20 years ago.

The age of the individual, the age of self expression is upon us. (Led most fabulously by the likes of Gaga, That Minaj thing, Jessie J. etc) The world is now at the touch of a mobile phone button or a website link. Our children have a clearer idea of self identity at a much younger age.

This must be addressed and factored into the approach that we have to learning and what we allow our generation of developing minds to focus upon. With the National Curriculum a dead dog in the water, we are letting our young minds focus on the plastic, throw away world of Jeremy Kyle, Katie Price and The Only Way Is Essex..A HIDEOUS prospect in the eyes of any rational person.

Maybe if our young minds felt that they mattered. Felt that they had been identified with or listened too. They wouldn’t feel the need to be burning our cities in the atrocious manner that they have in the past few days.

This is in no way to condone the actions of these Vigilantes. The opportunity for protest that is honest and is duly recognized has passed. Now the protests of a fractured few have been hijacked and the message has become a different one. One that is not tolerable any longer. This is now about chaos and self gain. The looting has spread to other cities around the country and the thoughts on the minds of these guerillas are only material gain and personal satisfaction.

So, as our country’s already stretched and tired resources are further drained by a spreading infestation of senselessness and greed as the ensuing disorder grows…

Someone. Somewhere. Surely has some questions to address…

TheArtfulBlogger









Monday 8 August 2011

"The Fire Rages In Every Way"



Tottenham, London.
The title of today’s blog is a quote from the diary of Samuel Pepys, 1966 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samuel_Pepys). Pepys was a 17th Century London M.P whose famous diary gives the reader a snapshot of the most colourful city on Earth at a time of great change and progress caused by the restoration of the monarchy after years of instability and unrest caused by civil war and the Interregnum, the posh name for the period when we were a republic & had no Royal family.. Bad times.

Anyway, I’m not intending to give you a history lesson but after watching today’s news and the coverage of the rioting, looting and general civil unrest that has been tearing Tottenham apart for the last 2 days (Link- http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-14442935) I couldn’t help but wonder what the famous diarist would have made of it all.

The weekend of chaos, where fires were started and stores such as Currys were looted, (if anyone hears of a flat screen going??? 42’’, mail me!) started after an initially peaceful protest was hijacked by angry young hardcore fanatics and developed into full on violence that has continued for 2 nights.

The protest or vigil was organised by the family of Mark Duggan, a 29 year old man who was accidentally killed by the gunshot of an officer from the Metropolitan Police’s “Operation Trident” unit, which focuses on black gun crime in the area.

The family of the victim felt the need to protest at the way the Metropolitan Police handled the case and at the level of information that was available and the level of contact that was offered during the days after. I feel for the family. The Met handled my mother’s case and they are incredibly tight lipped. The make YOU feel like the criminal with the approach that it is “Police Business, NOT your business!” not that easy to swallow when a loved one is involved.

The family of the man were not initially contacted for 48 hours after the initial incident where the shooting took place, a disgusting amount of time without even a call to acknowledge the loss, if nothing else.

 A complaint has reportedly been lodged with the Police Complaints Commission but sadly, this, in MY experience is a total waste of time. The Met does what it seems to do best, (well definitely better than catching criminals) they conceal, they deceive and they control all available information in matters that are deeply important for the family of the victim in order for them to come to terms and deal with their loss.

The result is a tangible disconnect between the police and the methods they use when handling delicate issues and situations that has (in my opinion) only ever served to antagonise and aggravate situations that could be quelled and calmed.

To whip up frenzy when it could be controlled.

 To fail where they SHOULD succeed.

The spokesman for the MET said that the police knew nothing of the fact that the rioting had been advertised on Facebook and other social networking sites.

 ADVERTISED?

These guys had rallied together from miles around but hadn’t worked undercover or in secret they had advertised their plans. And the police missed it. 
Surely this is another sign that our law enforcers are out of touch with a vast section of the society that they are aiming to police.

This is all only weeks after the allegation about deception with regards to the press, specifically The Murdoch Empire and “those tapped calls”, that sparked a flurry of resignations ( which all SCREAM of dodgy goings on to me)

All this said it’s not shaping up to be a great summer for the Metropolitan police, who now have “thousands of hours of CCTV footage…” to trawl through identifying and convicting 100’s of rioters who "stole tens of thousands of pounds worth of property…."

Maybe if they spent those hours identifying & correcting the problems within their own establishment they would be better in tune to cope with their task.

Which brings me nicely back to my headline…

 “The fire rages everywhere & nobody, to my sight, endeavouring to quench it…”

The fires in Tottenham will be put out and the damage repaired. How long will it be before the flames within our establishments will be quenched too?

TheArtfulBlogger

Friday 5 August 2011

You Know I’m No Good



 It may just be that I have a sense of compassion for women with drink & drug problems, having loved & lived with one so closely. It may also have something to do with the fact that this is not the only resemblance between the Late Amy Winehouse and my much missed Mum.
·         They both had a hugely individual sense of style with big hair and Feline eye make-up.
·         They both had a passion for music
·         They both said what they thought at whatever the cost
·         They were both as fearless as they were afraid
·         And they were both as vibrant and creative as they were tragic and pitiful.


Whatever it is, the news of Miss Winehouse’s recent passing has hit me much harder than I would have expected. Not serious grief but more a loss for the team?

 A compassion for those closest around her, for the pain they are feeling. I know it well.
The tragedy of another woman found alone in her empty flat. ALONE.

 Another victim of addiction? Or  a pathetic waster that should have tried harder?

I find the second option much harder to swallow. I have clear reasons for this. Obvious ones and I do believe that all the negative comments come from those who have never lived with, no correct that, LOVED a person with addiction issues (a category that I don’t count myself out of before you all wonder?)

Anyone who finally loses the fight against themselves and the issues or addictions they suffer with, in whatever form is a figure of tragedy whether they have had a bestselling album or just managed to fight through life and who may have a very different list of achievements.

The saddest issue is the fact that the persons tortured in this way never see the successes or triumphs that they achieve. Anxiety (even if well hidden with a bolshy façade), substance abuse and irrational thinking prevent it. It’s only the faults, the fails that are seen.
 (I know that both from personal experience and from close study, field research you could say. Extensive work I may add!)

It makes no difference whether the death is that of a soul singing modern icon, or someone’s mother, these 2 women both have an effect;

Amy joins the Infamous 27 Club http://www.the27s.com/whilst leaving behind a small but powerful back catalogue of music and enough interest to fuel a thousand “Heat Magazine” Specials or Bio Channel documentary’s with bad American talk overs,

My mother leaves a smaller legacy, a personal one. A Back Catalogue of memories.
Both women leave a chilling message from beyond the grave however.

Aiming to cure the addiction through Rehab or with short term fixes is never enough. To be effective you have to get to root of the problem, the issues or inner turmoil that the addiction is masking and work on that. Without that all attempts at regaining control are doomed to failure.

So in regards to my own personal situation at the moment I’m more determined than ever to turn things around.
 Mum, Amy….”Raise your glasses ladies! This one’s for you!”

TheArtfulBlogger

Excuse Me Sir. Your Phone Is having A sexual Update

Now, I am only too aware that I am a little behind with the times, technology wise.  I have a PC and I obviously used one to great effect in my former career, teaching, frequently and with success.
I bought a netbook recently and made the transition from Windows XL to Windows 7 like a seasoned professional. I was rather pleased. Update Installed to brain.  
Ideal.
My mobile phone however was a different story, the subject strikes anger into the hearts of many that know, or rather; try to contact me via my mobile.
My mobile was old, seriously old. In plain terms I had the same phone as my Dad. So not cool! This was for 2 reasons mainly.
1.       I had a few posh phones. They all broke. Old Nokia 1745 AD edition still worked. It had been run over, dropped in the sea while out boating and survived being slung about by me. It had succeeded where all else had failed. But had lost its sparkle. It was dull as hell.
2.       I rarely answer the phone. I hate them. If I want to talk to a person I address them face on. I just think it’s nicer.
So that’s how it’s been.
 Until Sunday, when I just thought sod it. Drove to Truro and purchased for my Bad self a HTC ChaCha.  I had joined the Android powered world.
 And I quickly installed the much talked about (among the gays) app called “Grindr”
For those readers of a more…”Herbal” based lifestyle, then no, I don’t mean…


I mean

The app that turns my mobile phone into a GPS based gay man magnet.  Any gay men that have the app and are on line show up with a distance ranging from miles to feet away…..
Now, it’s no news what this app is for.  It’s not to discuss gay rights or share great recipes.
Having said that. I have been SHOCKED! (Which is no easy task I can assure you)  
I was on there for 2 seconds….when
”pop”
Message….
“Hi”
Oh ok. Not so bad I thought. Oh cynical ArtfulBlogger…
Wait, hang on…
“Pop”
“Horny. Fuk me” (not my spelling)
Crikey. Forward like.
 After much thought I tendered a pathetic
“Hahaha” as a reply and ignored him.
I went into the Orange store on Sunday for a new phone and left with a blow-job? My phone had had a sexual update. Beat that O2 treats!
I have explored “Grindr” fairly well now (research of course!) and I must say found a variety of folk on there, some to avoid, as always in life.
Generally I have drawn this simple conclusion;
“Grindr” is in essence, the mobile based virtual gay bar, less the handbag pop music.
You get the odd fit dude. But he’s usually up his own ass and doesn’t speak,
A few nice couples (all the good ones huh?),
A load of randy Queens after a good seeing too,
And finally but most annoying are always the randoms and the nutters in the corner
or in my face!

There is of course nothing controversial about any of this….it’s all a bit yesterday really.
It’s just been a long time since my phone received an update

TheArtfulBlogger

Thursday 4 August 2011

Beauty & The Blog?

Right, so we have now established the basics. Now time to clear up some gossip and to bring anyone who is a bit lost, including me @ times, right up to date!
I am writing a book. I am also now writing a blog. “Too many fingers in too many pies” I hear you cry. “He needs to concentrate on one project. FOCUS”! I hear what you have to say…Well. Seeing as I am an academic (apparently, though not proven as such.) A keen reader.  An avid lexicographer and aspiring writer I shall put this in my best “I kissed the Blarney Stone twice” (if you don’t know Google it) most eloquent terms….

”BOLLOCKS to you all!”

Here it is. Put plainly;

I started writing a book, a HUGE undertaking in anyone’s estimates, at what was possibly the lowest ebb of my life. Not the greatest start.

I was facing some major issues and had the concentration of a small guinea pig. This was partly of course due to the medication I was prescribed all kicking in. I managed not to dribble or piss myself mostly but it was heavy for a while. Sitting down at my P.C in my bedroom staring at the wall for weeks on end was about as tempting as a home circumcision. It didn’t go well. I stalled. For 6 weeks.

Then…..24,000 words that were meaningful, heartfelt and basically accurate in grammar and spelling fell out of my soul. In 10 days. I was hooked. I stuck at it. Progress was good but slowly dwindled. I literally lost the plot. It’s like swimming the Atlantic. You leave from Fistral beach…2 miles out you turn around? You can still see Newquay harbour. 5 miles out you might see land. It’s when you’re 104 miles out, waves crashing, that you sink…….

That’s what I did. Writing wise I sank. I dried up. Word wise.  Banging my head against a wall. A Wall of books. Written Books. Written, Published books. Bastards.
I tried again to start. I couldn’t. I also got slowly sick of the polite enquiry “How’s your book going?” as the topic was now well known (I have a big mouth and do get somewhat excited at times of progress. I squeal like a pig), but the reply “FUCK OFF! Ever tried writing one cum dumpster?” is never socially acceptable unless one is in the presence of ones closest circle. Or in Liverpool.

After weeks of staring at a screen, I finally realised, that trying to write a heartfelt, deep and emotionally ravaging book for hours on end, alone in a room, slightly emotionally and mentally imbalanced is just plain impossible. Like Yin needs Yang. Like dark needs light, I needed some fun writing to do… to balance the scales.

So this is my Linguistic Yang. A retreat.  A sanctuary. A place where I can escape, vent, develop my skills (?) and hopefully entertain and have some fun too.

At present the book is back moving. I spent time planning and organising the layout and format. All now in a typically me style PowerPoint presentation format, clearly annotated and ordered. Complete with mission statement, aims, plot line. Headings, sub headings the whole nine yards.   Anyway work is coming along nicely and at a decent rate and posts will be frequent about progress...

There we are all clear and up to date. I’m off now but the bleeping HTC next to me has inspired a new blog. So I’m off.

Thanks for reading. (Lisa & Shaun-May as well name you both personally)

TheArtfulBlogger

The Grand Enterprise

So we have now established why I wanted to start a blog, to document & chart the path that lead me to this place ( both physically & mentally) & more importantly, to plot my progress & identify how I get back out of it.
It would therefore seem only fair & sensible to share with you the “plan”; what I intend to do with this new phase of my life, if only so that you have some idea as to what my rampant waffling’s all about and for.
Prior to my breakdown in 2009, I worked as a college lecturer, teaching hairdressing at a local College of Further Education. I had worked there for 6 years, starting on a part time basis working my way up to full time hours quickly & without me really even noticing. I was passionate about my craft as well as being passionate about passing that talent on to the next generation & infusing them with an interest. In short I loved my job.  However, after my mother died in March 2007, the shock, stress &  worry of  the inquest & a police inquiry, that all lead to nothing, took their toll on my already tired and worn out body & mind & I finally got carted out of my job almost literally a quivering, snivelling mess.
In the 2 years I sat at home wall watching, awaiting diagnosis & treatment, I began to think about life after recovery, the next episode, where did I want my life to head?  My mother had died early at 51 & one thing that I felt I owed her was to ensure that I lived my life to the fullest & achieved some of the things that I always dreamed. Not to be found alone & beaten, dead in my flat as mum had done. She was robbed of justice by the police, so I decided I would do her justice in other ways. I was determined of this from day one. All I needed to decide? was how I was going to achieve this goal.
One thing that I had always wanted to do was to write a book, it was always on my “list of things to do before I die”.  Mum’s untimely death spurred this idea on.  It became more than about just documenting the life & times of myself & became about a final gift for my Mum. She lived a difficult, tortured life, mainly due to her addictions & a taste for the wrong men. I wanted to write the book to atone for her mistakes, to look at our lives more closely & to gain sense of peace for myself & my mother posthumously.
The other thing I have always dreamed of is ART… becoming an artist.  Not that I have a huge talent but I am passionate &  creative so it seemed to make sense as it  allowed a relaxing vent for my creative side, an escape from real life.
So I started, albeit half-heartedly at first & dogged by depression & anxiety throughout. I started to map out a plan for the book, started producing some art pieces. I was exploring all my options, aiming to find a way of life that was rewarding while at the same time being something that I wanted to do & that I believed in.  I am a very different person to the one that left college 2 years ago & I will be different again by the end of this process, if it has an end?  It may be a constant metamorphosis that never fully stops. One thing is for sure, the quest is no longer about money or material gain & success. It is about fulfilment & satisfaction.  Being able to look back and feel a sense of achievement on my life and what I have done with it.
So, that’s it. From hairdresser, to college lecturer, and onto Author & Artist (send it out to the universe...”intention is the key”) with a quick detour along “Mental Health street” … This blog promises to have it all. Promises are all good & well & are of course only words... until they become actions (actually stick with words; this is after all a BLOG!)

So that’s the plan. Overcome my issues, find peace with myself & my past, write a bestselling book & take on the art world one creative expression at a time!

Easy I hear you cry! Well sit back, read on & join me for the ride.

TheArtfulBlogger



 "Dita Von Teese" A La ArtfulBlogger.
Facebookers will be sick of this image. But Blog readers this is where Im starting from with the Art.. An Early attempt.


Front Cover Book Design for "Killing Christopher" available at all good retailers and on-line stores, as soon as I have finished the bloody thing! 
The image is courtesy of my Gifted friend Mr Shaun Machin. (BSc don't you know!) I love it. It SCREAMS me with knobs on.

Ladies & Gentlemen...I begin


So here goes. My first tentative steps into the blogosphere, the first words sent out into the wide unknown to fend for themselves in the endless traffic of the web. Best try to get them all correct then. 

So why blogging?
Well I’m a 30 year old single gay guy that has lived what can only be described as a “colourful, extreme & varied life” &  although I'm saving the best for my book, in short;
I had a chaotic and crazy childhood filled with violence and abuse,
This developed into rebellious & tortured teenage years (but whose weren’t right?). This all ended up leading to a hectic & unfulfilled 20 something.... which involved finding and promptly losing “The Great Love” followed a year later, when I was 27, by my mother’s “suspicious death” & the ensuing circus that entailed. The break –down followed right on schedule a year after that, prompting me to have to leave my job. Months of counsellors, analysts and the like followed while I sat here watching life fall to bits around me…2 long years I sat. Staring at the walls; battling depression and post-traumatic stress disorder, wondering what move to make? What to do? And I’m well aware that I am not alone or alone in my situation. We all have our issues, our histories, that’s what shapes us! But, there is only amount of time that any man can stare at a wall, turns out its 2 years. ….
So I digress….Why Blogging?
This is the start of a change for me, the change from what I have become through the events of my life & my own actions, into the man that I aspire to be; The total overhaul of my life, my mind & my soul.   The aim of this blog is to document the change, sharing my journey & my efforts, whilst hopefully inspiring a few others at the same time.  

Here’s to change……and blogging!